Meeting the Doctor

The intended parent's (IPs) had already been working with a fertility clinic near their home, so that is where I would go to meet the doctor and learn about the IVF process. On March 14th, I made the 2 hour commute to Los Angeles to meet the doctor.

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The doctor walked me through the IVF process and explained what would happen. Afterwards, he did two different trans-vaginal ultrasounds. The first ultrasound was to check the thickness of my endometrium lining. For IVF, most doctors prefer the lining to be around 8-12mm. My lining was only at 3mm, the birth control pills I had been taking can cause the lining to become thin over time. The second trans-vaginal ultrasound, also called a saline infusion sonography (SIS), was to check my reproductive organs, including the uterus, ovaries, cervix, and vagina. The doctor was looking for any abnormalities or growths - he found none. Yay! So, at this point I was only half-cleared for surrogacy. The doctor wanted me to start estrogen patches to help improve the thickness of my lining and come back in a few weeks to have my lining reassessed.



However, before I could start any medications I had to receive legal clearance and sign all the appropriate contracts. This process took an entire month, but I understand why it is so important to make sure that my husband & I both clearly understood what we were agreeing to. We were given a 24 page contract to sign and spoke on the phone with a lawyer (provided by the CSP agency) to make sure we knew what we were signing.


Up next... medications!


~The Baby Fairy 

Matched with a Couple

During the matching process, I was sent two couples profiles to read over and then asked to approve of them and select my top choice. At the psychological screening with the counselor she had asked if I would prefer a local or international couple. The agency does deal with many international couples, because unlike the US, many other countries have laws against surrogacy. And although I wouldn't have been against working with an international couple, I think it would have felt harder to form a relationship with them. So, I was happily surprised to find out that both profiles that were sent to me were within a 2 hour drive from us. However, It was heartbreaking to read about both of their struggles with infertility and I immediately wanted to help them both. I could only chose one couple in the end though, so I went with the first essay that I read. It seemed that this couple was open to forming a relationship with the surrogate and her family, not just during the pregnancy but maybe even beyond. That was important to me. And although I do not expect to become best buddies for life or anything, I have hoped to be able to hear updates every now and again and see pictures of the baby that I helped bring into this world. And I felt like the first couple was definitely open to that, so my husband & I selected them as our 1st preference. I still remember the date I approved their profile, February 13th. A nice little match right before Valentine's Day. And lucky for us, they selected me too.

In early March, we got to meet the couple. The counselor was there to help assist with questions and to break the ice a little. We all sat down for lunch together and discussed why we all chose the surrogacy path. They seemed like a great couple, and I was anxious to help them with their desire to start a family.

Up next... meeting the doctor! 

~The Baby Fairy

The Application & Screening Process

A few months after contemplating surrogacy, I decided to Google the agency that was featured on the "Little Couple" show. The agency was called Center for Surrogate Parenting (CSP) and their web page said that they had a worldwide reputation as being the leader in the field of surrogacy. (And later after speaking with CSP's coordinator, I felt truly grateful that I selected this agency above any other to help me in my quest to become a surrogate. It would provide a smooth, streamlined process from a well knowledgeable team of people.) I read what it takes to become a surrogate on CSP's website, and although the process looked intensive, I thought it seemed reasonable. And so I completed an application. Five days later, part 1 of my application was approved, and I had a 45 minute phone consultation with CSP's coordinator to discuss more about the program and answer any questions I had. I was then asked to complete part II of the application process - more detailed questions about my health history and submission of my health insurance card and coverage information. 

After completing part 2 of the application, I was moved to phase 2 of the screening program - this involved the medical and psychological screenings. This phase of the screening process required a lot of information! I was asked to be cleared for IVF (in-vitro fertilization) by my doctor, submit my OB records and get a pap smear (since my last one was more than a year old). I was also asked to complete a form for a formal background screening and pass a health exam to receive a life insurance policy provided by CSP. Both my husband and I would need to submit for blood tests to check for STDs and nicotine levels in both of us, as well as the Rh factor and thyroid levels in me.


In addition to all of that, my husband and I were both also asked to make an appointment with the counselor hired by CSP, and prior to being seen by the counselor I was asked to fill out a personality questionnaire - reminded me a lot of the Meyers & Briggs Type Indicator. I was also asked to write an essay and submit pictures for the prospective couples to look at when deciding which surrogate they wanted to work with. I felt like I was auditioning for a dating show! I wanted to say all the right things and use the best looking pictures.

It was now February, my husband & I had our meeting with the counselor. I laughed as she told us that she liked to tell people it wasn't her job to see if I was crazy, but to make sure that I was the "RIGHT TYPE of crazy" needed to be a surrogate. She asked questions like why I wanted to do this, and what my husband thought of the idea, and what our family and friends thought. At this point, I had told my closest friends (about 5 total), and both my parents, my brother and my in-laws. And although everyone was supportive, I could tell there were a few, especially my mom, who were skeptical and thought I had lost my mind completely for wanting to do this. Many of my family and friends had questions, some I knew the answer to, but most that I did not know. I told them that it was all a learning experience for me as well and that I would share what I learned along the way.

A week after the psychological screening, I met with my gynecologist who said he would recommend me for IVF. (Yay!) I received my pap smear exam, and also picked up my OB records and mailed everything to CSP. Paperwork - finished. Yahoo!

I was also asked to attend a monthly support group meeting in the second week of February to meet other women who were also surrogates. The meeting was overwhelming (as there were about 30 or so other surrogates present), but also provided a lot of insight to the road ahead of me. I learned about how often times a couple's struggle with infertility can transfer to the surrogate, and that many first time IVF transfer's are not always successful. But I also got to witness a surrogate share her birth story with the group and see just how much joy can come from giving such a precious gift to a couple in need. I knew I had made the right decision, and that this was something I definitely wanted to do. 

Up next... becoming matched with a couple!


~The Baby Fairy

Becoming A Baby Fairy

After giving birth to my second child, I was extremely grateful for my beautiful, healthy baby, but I was also mourning the end of the pregnancy. My husband & I had decided that baby #2 was it for us, we were happy with our 2 boys, and didn't plan to have any more children. Then one day while watching the show “The Little Couple” on TLC, I learned about surrogacy. Watching another couple struggle with the reality of not being able to have a child in the traditional way made me realize just how special having a child of your own can be. It also made me think of my own pregnancies and how beautiful and wonderful I felt throughout each of them and how happy I was to be pregnant. I was very comfortable with this decision to not have any more children of my own, however, I was sad at the thought of not ever being able to experience another pregnancy. I knew that if I could, I would love to be able to make a difference in the lives of a couple who was also struggling with having a child of their own. One thing to be sure and note, I was NOT going to donate my eggs. I wanted only to be the 'oven' for the 'bun'. The child would have no genetic connection to my husband or me. 

Now I just had to figure out how to become a surrogate and how to convince my family and friends that I wasn't completely insane for volunteering to do this. :) 

~The Baby Fairy